PhilematologyFunny valentine

“LORD, I wonder what fool it
was that first invented
kissing ?” That may be Jonathan
Swift’s opinion, but Lana Citron
has a more impassioned view.
Philematology, the study of
kissing, is the subject of her
new book. An actress, stand-up
comic and author of five novels,
she is also devoted, she says,
“to the spread of kisses”.
This is no self-help guide or
teenage fantasy, but a
confident and knowledgeable
offering filled with bite-sized
facts and anecdotes, and
adorned with quotes from
literary greats. Ms Citron
explores the etymology of the
word “kiss”, the anatomy of
kissing, kissing throughout
history, across cultures and in
literature and art. In short, it ’s
a seductive Schott’s
“Miscellany”.
To kiss is common in the
Western world but not so in
other cultures. The Tsonga
people of southern Africa find it
repulsive, “They eat each
other’s saliva and dirt!” Malay
tribes and Inuits prefer to rub
noses rather than join lips in an
“ olfactory kiss”. In Indonesia,
kissing in public can invite a
ten-year jail sentence. Ms
Citron draws on familiar figures
and events through the ages,
and she is not afraid to strip
away the sensuality. She cites
scientific references reducing
kissing to a movement of
muscles, and talks of halitosis
and gum disease which made
the whole business less
attractive in previous centuries.
She covers biblical kissing, the
French ban on la bise during
the recent swine-flu scare, and
much in between, such as
Samuel Pepys ’s wife discovering
his illicit kiss with a maidservant,
an account he perhaps should
not have included in his diary.
The most delightful section,
however, is “Cultural Kisses”.
Here Ms Citron has collected
the efforts of poets,
playwrights, artists and film-
makers, from Marlowe to
Madonna, who have immortalised
the kiss. Pictures of the
artworks described would
enhance this section but Ms
Citron ’s animated prose helps
readers to visualise Alfred
Eisenstaedt ’s cheeky Times
Square kiss or Rodin’s sexual
sculpture.
Published to coincide with St
Valentine ’s Day, this essential
compendium is an intellectual
and indulgent treat —one to
leave on the cistern or beside
the bed. Every dip will prompt a
smile, a shock or perhaps even
a thrill.